My Mom Read My Darkest Secret In My Diary

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Hello, everyone, my name`s Emily. Recently I thought that all my misfortunes had ended, until my mother uncovered my darkest secret. Now, I think we`ll never be the same again.

A week ago me and my mom moved to our new house. We haven`t even unpacked all the boxes yet, but we already feel happy, because our previous house was a reminder of some dark events in our lives. But the bad things always happen when you least expect them to. I was walking home after school, thinking about home stuff. And when I came in, I saw my mom sitting on the floor, crying. I wanted to ask her what happened, but then I saw my diary in her hands. What the hell! It looks like she opened a box of my stuff and found it. I wanted to explain everything to her, but when she saw me, she ran up to her room, crying. Oh, God! I picked up the diary to see which page my mother had stopped on. To my regret, she had read it all. No way! Mom wasn’t supposed to read this. This diary is a collection of rage, hatred, pain, and suffering. I started writing it two years ago, when my little sister was born.

Yep, two years ago my mom and dad were the happiest people on Earth because they had another baby. Then our lives had changed completely. I was 12 years old, and my parents thought that I was grown enough, so they focused on my little sister. I don’t mean that they forgot about me. No. But they set their priorities – first they took care of the baby, then they spent time with me. But the trouble is that the baby needs attention 24/7! So I was on my own. I tried to put up with it, honestly! I knew that it was necessary, and tried to help my parents at home. But I was a kid, and I didn’t have enough patience. I just wanted some attention and care too. I was lonely, so I started writing my diary.

If you start reading it, you`ll see how my annoyance grows up into rage. Honestly, I was trying to be a good sister. But it’s so hard to take care of a baby! I was so annoyed with her crying. How did I know what she wanted when she was screaming? To eat? Or drink? A diaper change? I don’t know! I felt powerless. Her cries lasted forever. And every day I lost love for her. Sometimes I just looked at her and thought, «Why were you even born?» I was forced to babysit her more and more, so I fought with my parents a lot. I didn`t want to do that! I couldn`t stand her! More than that, I hated her. She took my life, and she turned it into a series of screaming and crying episodes. Honestly, sometimes I wished she was dead. I know! It’s awful! OK? But it’s true, and I feel bad about it.

But most of all, I feel shame about the last note in the diary. The day this all happened, I barely talked my parents into letting me go to the movies with my friends. We agreed that my mother would pick me up in the evening. Of course, for this I had to agree to babysit my little sister all day. But it was worth it. So the movie ended, and all my friends had already been picked up and taken home, but my mother still wasn’t there. I called her, but she just didn’t answer. I stood there for almost half an hour. Then I called my dad to pick me up. But he said he was with the baby and that I should call my mom. Are you kidding me? I was so angry. Did I have to stay there until the morning?! This was the only time in a year that I had asked my parents for something, and it turned into such a problem. I started yelling at my dad, and he said he’d be there soon. But his «soon» was in an hour! When he arrived, I got into the car, and immediately heard a familiar cry. Of course it was my sister. Dad couldn’t leave her alone at home, so he took her with him. I was so mad at that moment. We started fighting, and I said, «I’m sick of all of you and your little baby!» Dad was shocked. He turned to me, and he wanted to say something, but then we heard a car horn. We were going to crash into an oncoming car, so dad turned abruptly, and we went off the road and hit a tree.

I woke up after the accident at the hospital. My first thought was «Where are my dad and my sister?» I wanted to get up and run to find them, but I couldn’t. I felt that it was hard to move my legs. I looked at them, and I was scared right away — both of my legs were in a cast. And immediately I felt a lot of pain. I screamed and suddenly my mother ran into the room and hugged me. Then she started to cry. Mom told me that dad didn’t make it. Oh, God. I remembered that I was the one who distracted dad from the road, and that’s why we had the accident. I started crying and asked, «What about my little sister?» For two days doctors fought for her life. But she was too weak to survive the accident… It just broke mom’s heart.

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